


Once Upon a Time There Was…No, There Wasn’t!

by eafay70



Series: A Very Merry "Advent" Calendar [8]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Fairy Tale Elements, Family, M/M, Real Madrid CF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 07:42:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8789416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/pseuds/eafay70
Summary: Isco Jr. and the Krodríguez children demand a bedtime story. Morisco decides to tell the story of the Krodríguez wedding, but find themselves unable to agree on any of the details.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kroos8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kroos8/gifts).



> Porque a gente adora as mesmas coisas. Embora a gente não se conhece na vida real, e provavelmente a gente não vai se conhecer na vida real no futuro imediato, és uma nova boa amiga minha. Feliz natal (cedo)!
> 
> This story is based on the fact that my sisters and I often get into disagreements when recounting family stories because we don’t agree on details. I included Amelie in honor of my baby cousin, whom I will meet for the first time in a matter of days!

Isco and Álvaro were very happy that Junior got along very well with his godsiblings for various reasons. On this particular evening, the reason was that they could babysit Salomé, Leon, and baby Amelie in their home while James and Toni were out on a date night. Junior shared his toys happily, Salomé and Leon were well-behaved, and Amelie babbled away to “I-co” and “A-ro.”  
Of course, the four children getting along so well created a problem for the (god)fathers: bedtime. Specifically, the kids wanted to play instead of going to bed.  
“Daddy!” complained Junior. “It’s too early for bed!”  
“No, it’s too late for playtime,” countered Álvaro. “All of you need your sleep.”  
“No, we don’t, tío Álvaro!” argued Leon. “We’re not tired!”  
Isco walked into the bedroom with Amelie fussing in his arms. “You have to set a good example for the baby. If she doesn’t sleep, she won’t be any fun tomorrow.”  
Salomé sat up in her cot and proclaimed, “We’ll go to sleep after you tell us a story!”  
The couple known as Morisco shared a look and nodded. “One story, and then you go to sleep,” stated Isco. “Agreed?”  
“Sí, papi,” said Junior.  
“Sí, tío Isco,” said Salomé and Leon in unison.  
“I, I-co,” chirped Amelie.  
“Good.” Isco began to speak.

_Once upon a time, in a faraway land where everyone loved to dance, there was a prince who lived in a coffee bean. The prince, whose name nobody could pronounce –_

“¿¡Qué dices!?” Álvaro interrupted. “People could pronounce his name! It wasn’t the way anyone else with that name said it, but it was perfectly pronounceable!”  
“Cariño, it’s called artistic license.” Isco continued.

_The prince was very, very, very, very good at playing football, and he was offered the chance to play for a dragon on the other side of the ocean. So he bid farewell to his family, placed his coffee bean in the ocean, and started rowing. After a number of years there, he spent some time playing football for a gambler in a tiny monarchy before coming to the greatest club in the world._

Álvaro glared angrily. “A principality isn’t the same as a monarchy, my darling.”  
“Picky, picky, picky! Who’s telling this story?”  
“I probably should!” So he did.

_Meanwhile, in a significantly closer land where everyone loved to build things, there was a prince who lived in a coffee mug. He, too, was very, very, very, very good at playing football, and he was offered the chance to play for a bunch of red celebrities. After a number of years there, he spent some time playing football for an aspirin factory before coming to the greatest club in the world._

“I don’t think they actually make aspirin there,” pointed out Isco.  
“Artistic license, querido.” Álvaro continued.

_Now, as one might expect, the prince in the coffee bean and the prince in the coffee mug got along splendidly on and off the pitch. This made everyone at the greatest club in the world very, very, very, very happy._

“What was the greatest club in the world called?” asked Junior.  
“The Royal White Galactic Meringue Vikings!” dramatically proclaimed Isco and Álvaro in unison.  
“What’s a meringue?” asked Leon.  
“It’s a dessert that sort of looks like a cloud,” explained Salomé.  
“Exactly.” Isco took over the story.

_The Royal White Galactic Meringue Vikings, like all football clubs, gave their players planes and ships to allow them to travel home every so often and keep the players very, very, very, very happy._

“Wouldn’t they be spaceships?” wondered Álvaro.  
“You don’t need a spaceship to cross an ocean! Just a boat so you don’t have to row your own coffee bean!”

_And on one such trip home, the prince in the coffee bean met a beautiful princess who lived with her brother in a cannon. The prince and princess fell in love and traveled back to the home of the Royal White Galactic Meringue Vikings to marry._

“The cannon was next to a subway station,” added Álvaro. He continued the tale.

_The prince in the coffee mug was asked to be the best man. He didn’t want the job because he himself was in love with the prince in the coffee bean, but he was convinced to do it by a princess in his homeland who pointed out that he should support his best friend’s happiness. As the day of the wedding approached, the prince in the coffee bean noticed that the prince in the coffee mug was avoiding him everywhere but the pitch –_

“More like everywhere including the pitch,” grumbled Isco. “The prince who water-skied on anchovies had to run interference.”  
“As did the prince who loved marinara sauce,” agreed Álvaro.

_But no matter how he begged, the groom couldn’t convince the best man to tell him why he was unhappy. On the day of the wedding, the best man got the groom to the church on time, but couldn’t bring himself to watch the love of his life marry someone else, so while the groom was distracted by the florist, the best man drove away in tears._

“I thought it was the caterer!”  
“No, it was the florist! Remember, he had the really big glasses?”  
“The florist was the one with the man-bun! The caterer had the really big glasses!”  
Amelie began to cry, so Isco continued the story.

_As the coffee mug filled with the prince’s tears, he realized that he could smell a coffee bean. He emerged from the coffee mug to see his beloved prince rowing towards him in his coffee bean, having realized that the princess was not his true love after all. The two princes married some time later, and they all lived happily ever after._

By this time, all four children had fallen asleep. Isco and Álvaro slowly walked out of the bedroom and resumed their argument of caterer vs. florist.  
(James and Toni later revealed that it had been the priest with the strong resemble to Zizou who had distracted James while Toni escaped. The florist, who had both a man-bun and really big glasses, was the one who started crying when James ran out of the church; the caterer, who had a lumberjack-style beard, was the one who lost a bet to the jilted bride over the whole thing.)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! =D Yes, I am fully aware that this doesn't really match the real-world timeline.
> 
> Let me know if you'd like other stories told in silly fairy tale style. XD


End file.
